In the words of Peter E. Terzick, “You cannot see brotherhood…” but if it were a sight, it would be of men whose arms drape over the shoulders of those next to them, fists punching the air out of elation as they proudly shout the words Phi Kappa Mu! “…neither can you hear it nor taste it…” but if it were to be a sound, it would be the warm and welcoming utterance of the word Bai as one brod calls another. If it were to be a flavor, it would be the refreshing malty taste of beer or the tart sweet taste of pineapple juice. A whole bottle or glass of it chugged in both the good times and the bad. Often just one, sometimes two, and at times three or even more, as the night fades into boisterous laughter. “…But you can feel it a hundred times a day. It is the pat on the back when things look gloomy. It is the smile of encouragement when the way seems hard. It is the helping hand when the burden becomes unbearable.”
Perhaps the rest of the world will never understand our brand of brotherhood. How we can call people old enough to be our father’s father brothers and talk to them as if the word brother holds its literal and colloquial meaning. And indeed, for us, it does. What should have been a division brought about by age or rank in our profession has been shoved away by that firm handshake between brods. To the eye of the ignorant or even the mere outsider, it’s almost disrespectful to address these distinct people, recognized as being of the best in their fields, by their first names and even share some brotherly colloquy. But to us it’s because we hold the word brother’s true meaning each and every time we call each other brods.
And at every utterance of the word, we say with the highest respect. One that is mutual, unconditional, and absolute. The mere titles placed above us, all fading until only that of “brother” remains. Perhaps this is just one of those many peculiarities and paradoxes of being in a fraternity, with all of its complexities, that can only be comprehended when experienced firsthand and why an outsider can never truly understand us. These peculiarities and paradoxes tag along right from the very beginning. For the majority of us, our decisions to join must have been plagued by seemingly endless questions of why’s. Some of which might have even come from ourselves. But it is in this shared ordeal that all of us went and pushed through that we are, in essence, born into the fraternity as brothers. And only then will we start seeing the answers to our questions. Some will assume the role being older brothers. A mentor to instill the values that befit a Phi. A teacher to impart his knowledge of the what lies ahead for his younger brother. A protector and friend, as what older brothers are by nature. Some will assume the role of the younger brother. A student full of vigor to learn from, follow in the foot steps of, and even surpass those who came before him.
However, we have not even scratched the surface of what Phi brotherhood is. There are countless testimonies to be heard from the older brods. These instances have not been on the most favorable of conditions, but it is in the hardest of times that true brotherhood will hold fast and strong. Stories have been shared, both tales of surviving and thriving, of family and career, and of plain impulsive buffoonery, but of unforgettable experiences nonetheless. We, as brothers, have the luxury to hear, see and even live these stories of brotherhood, most of which were stories of success or in the path to it. Behind the glow of all the successes that our brods have reached are shadows of hard work and hardships that has been endured with laughter and full hearts because brods were there for them in their journeys.
“No greater love hath a man than he lay down his life for his brother. Not for millions, not for glory, not for fame. For one person, in the dark where no one will ever know or see.” – J. Michael Straczynski
A brotherhood that is forever strong. The brotherhood of the Phi Kappa Mu.
Nothing more. Nothing less. Nothing else.
